I have a lot to say

But I'm too tired *yawn* catch you up tomorrow.

Food Log:


Lunch/Dinner: Footlong Oven Roasted Chicken Breast Subway Sub (no cheese)

Dessert: Yoplait Yogurt- Apple Turnover

Total Day Calories: 840

Dreaded Scale

I drank three times since I started this diet, which is kind of unacceptable. They were all during sporting events, so I don't feel too bad about it, but I drank more than I should have. This, I'm sure, is what the major contributor to my weight is. If I'm serious about losing weight, I have to lose the alcohol too :(

Tomorrow is Memorial Day and I'm  going to a baseball game, so of course I'm going to have some drinks... but that's it!

Weight: 145 lbs :(

Don't know what to say...

Don't know how my body can actually produce so much snot! These last 5 days have just been snot-filled and it's not ceasing! I'm not human...I'm snotman lol. Besides that life is fine. It's storming here as usual, living in Indiana. The rain and thunderstorms are ongoing; seems like on a daily basis.

There's UFC fights tonight, which I am totally obsessed with! GO RAMPAGE!

Food Log


Breakfast: Banana

Lunch: Salad

• Mixed salad greens
• Broccoli
• Cucumbers 
• Chicken
• Fat free Caesar dressing

Dinner: Chicken

            Pasta (gotta love leftovers!)

           Milk- skim

Total Day Calories: 1,018

I'll weigh myself in the morning =P

Yesterday's Intake

Food Log


Breakfast: Over easy egg
                 2 strawberries

Lunch: Salad

• Mixed salad greens
• Cucumbers
• Broccoli
• Fat free Caesar dressing 

Dinner: Boneless Skinless chicken

            Mostaccoli (how do you spell that?!)

Total Day Calories: 639 

Progress

So, yesterday was a really good day!! :)

I'm still sick, coughing and snotty, but I didn't let that get in my way. I was pretty lazy during the day, crocheting a blanket and just watching television. Well, watching television on my computer because I don't actually have cable; I'm too cheap for that.

I went to an NA meeting last night with a couple of friends. And before you ask, NA is for Narcotics Anonymous. I actually found it really helpful and plan on going back. I wish my friends that came with, who are awesome for doing so, actually were more motivated to quit doing drugs with me. One of them came to the meeting fucked up on percasets. The other friend went to do shrooms after the meeting. It's all so tempting for me to be around, and if they had extras and offered I might have taken it :( Shows I have a long way to go before I can turn stuff like that down. However, they did smoke some chronic together after the meeting and offered that to me and I turned that down, so that's good at least. Definitely progress. This is day 5 without smoking!!

After the Bulls crushing defeat last night, I went to a dance party at a bar with a friend. Another one of my friends was the dj, so it was a lot of fun. I want to go every Thursday to this dance party. It is a fun way to burn calories for sure; Especially since I'm not getting motivated to go to the gym. Here's what I ate yesterday:

Food Log

Breakfast: Tea
                Banana

Lunch: Turkey hot dog (on a white bun w/ ketchup)
           Skim milk

During the game: 4 vodka and sprites

Total Day Calories: 1,412 -- 1,000 coming from the drinks :(

Weight: 142.8 lbs.

What To Do...

I had a day filled with ups and downs. I am still unbelievably sick, which sucks. Went through a whole box of kleenex! My temperature isn't above 99 degrees, so that's good at least.

I went to go see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie with my good friend Becky. I brought a kleenex box with me lol. The movie was really awesome! I think it was better than the last two.

It's storming here, as usual. No fun to sit through a thunderstorm alone. I have my cats, but one is seriously bipolar. He climbed in my lap, purring, rubbing against me, looked at me and bit my forehead! What to do with him?!

I didn't eat much today. Didn't have much of an appetite. I am actually hungry now, but it's almost 9 pm, so I will be strong and just wait til the morning to eat. Anything I eat now will just go to my tummy :-/

Food Log


Breakfast: Orange Juice
                Half a cup of yogurt

Lunch: Baby Carrots

Total Day Calories: 183

Morning Vs. Night

So, I guess people weigh less in the morning than at night, so I am going to only weigh myself when I wake up lol. Last night before I went to sleep I was150. This morning when I woke up I was 147 lbs. Funny how the body works...

Definitely Hazey

Woke up today with barely any sleep and feeling like shit. I coughed all night and all day :( throat hurts and am just exhausted from coughing. I cough with my entire body, which gives me a headache. I don't know how it is so beautiful outside and all I want to do is lay in bed. It's really frustrating.

Food Log


Breakfast: Apple
                Tea

Lunch: Chicken Noodle Soup
           Tea

Dinner: Tomato Soup
            Grilled Cheese (these are not actually grilled. I just toast the whole wheat bread and add a slice of cheese, put it in the toaster oven or microwave for a little to melt the cheese. No butter or anything!)

Total Day Calories: 714

I decided to go out to Walmart again (first to get more cough drops) and got a digital scale. As embarrassing as it is, I'm going to share my weight loss with whoever is reading this, so I might as well be honest with the actual weight I am losing. So, my starting weight as of this moment is 150 lbs. I don't know how I let myself get so fat! But, that's all going to change.

Also, this is day 2 of no smoking :-)

Lastly, GO BULLS!!!!

Blah

I can't stop coughing! Not good motivation to go to the gym. I feel awful and icky and just want to sleep. With all that in mind, here is what I ate today:

Food Log


Breakfast: Tea

Lunch: Salad

• Mixed Salad Greens
• Broccoli
• Cucumbers
• Fat Free Caesar Dressing 

Dinner: Tomato Soup

            Grilled Cheese (no butter or anything terrible)

All this and the mixed drinks and the late night TB excursion makes-- 

Total Calories: 2383 

It's over what my goal is, but with the alcohol and fast food, it's not too bad. Good Night! 

Ooops...

I went to my friend's last night to watch the game. The Bulls lost :( But the game was really intense and close the whole time, which is always fun to watch. I was only going to have one or two drinks, but I ended up having four :( This suggests I have a problem. In my intoxicated hungry state, I did what I normally would do and hit up TB. I need to go to their website and see if I can calculate my damage and work it off today!! But just because I slipped up does not mean to quit. I'm still going to be on my diet and eat healthy, fresh foods.

I really am going to quit smoking. This is Day 1.

Day 1

So, today has overall been uneventful. Did all my dishes, some cleaning, and played a lot with my kitties! Tonight will be awesome, with the nba playoffs. Bulls vs. Heat!! GO BULLS!! I'm going to go over to a friend's house and watch it. I'm going to bring a bottle of vodka... debating on whether or not to just give it to my friend. It's a half gallon, so it's a lot of vodka that I don't need. I'll prolly have a couple of drinks during the game... but that's to be expected from anyone.

I planned on exercising today, I really did. I texted like 5 people asking them if they wanted to join or play tennis because it was so beautiful out and I love playing tennis, but I can't do it alone. Unfortunately, everyone I asked was too busy or out of town. I need to get motivated to go by myself. That is my first goal for tomorrow.

Food Log 


Breakfast: Apple

Lunch: Salad

• Cucumbers
• Mixed Salad Greens
• Broccoli
• Fat Free Caesar Salad Dressing   

Snack: Banana
           Orange Juice
           Flipside Pretzel Crackers (would be much better with cheez whiz)

Dinner: Sandwich

• 2 Slices 100% Whole Wheat Bread
• 1 Tomato
• 3 Slices of Fat Free Turkey Deli Meat
• Mixed Salad Greens 

Total Calories: 595
Yesterday's Total (since I forgot): 779

I'm using this website www.fitday.com  to keep track of all the nutritional stuff. I put in my basic information and it said without any exercise my body burns about 1500 calories a day (just living!!). I definitely intend on exercising and swimming a lot when the pools open in June. But if I keep this diet up and don't eat at night, I think the world will see a thinner me by the end of the summer :)           

Quote of the Day

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish


something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass 


anyway; we might just as well put the passing time to the best 


possible use." 


-Earl Nightengale 

Since there was no rapture:

I went to Wallyworld! I bought only healthy food: broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, strawberries, apples, bananas, spinach, bell peppers, whole grain wheat bread, yoplait yogurt, boneless skinless chicken BREASTS, skim milk, and more... if I don'y have crap junk food in the house, then I can't eat it. And I'm going to try to not eat after 6:30-7 pm. 

I even got my cats healthy diet cat food because my cats have gotten so huge! Mordy weighs 14.5 lbs! Vet told me weight control food would be good for him, so we're in this together :-) 

Food Log

Breakfast: Apple

Lunch: Macaroni and Cheese- 1 serving 

           1 % Milk- 2 servings

Dinner: Macaroni and Cheese- 1 serving (made the whole box; shit don't taste good after a couple days!)

           Green Beans- 1 serving

           Peace Tea- threw the can away... but i drank it all lol  

End of the World

With the impending doom of the world, it seems like an unlikely time for me to want to change my life. However, there's no better time than the present- since life is a gift.

I just graduated college a few weeks ago. I need to find a job in my career path, and I'm pretty worried I won't. I'm so pessimistic and anxious about finding a job that I am not trying... and would settle for anything really (just about anyways) right now.

If that isn't enough stress, I want to quit smoking and seriously cut back on my drinking. I already quit popping pills, which is a little difficult, but smoking and drinking will be the hardest thing for me to stop. I self-medicate with these substances when I should really be getting help in a different way. And I have a plan...

To relieve stress, build my self-esteem and become more active I am going to start a weight-loss plan. For classes in the past year I had to blog and learn about all this emerging media rhetoric. I am going to blog about my struggles and achievements through this journey. This summer I am going to try to get back to what I weighed in high school: 120 lbs. I'll write about how I exercise and keep a food journal on here.

I need to be completely honest with myself and the world in order to make a positive change in my life. So, as long as the world does not end today, we'll see how my plan pans out.